Well, for the last week or two I have had terrible insomnia. I’ve been taking a new medication the last month and it was made a negative impact on my everyday life. I have been very moody and angry. I have also lost concentration, as well as no longer having the ability to fall asleep with ease.

The mental mood swings were so bad, my mother was concerned and asked if I had changed anything in medications or stopped anything…. she had no idea I had started a new medication over a month ago. After consulting a medical professional, I have decided to forgo the medication prescribed and go back to previous regimen.

I hate not feeling in control of myself or trapped in my own head. My work performance was deeply impacted, as I became forgetful and manageable tasks became harder to maintain. My life was crumbling right before my eyes in just 1 month.

Work. Moods. Depression. Marriage. Self-Loathing. Seclusion. Unpredictable. They were all negatively impacting my life and mental well-being…. where I was the cause of it all. It is truly amazing how one tiny pill that is designed to help could actually contribute to the exact opposite.

I have since stopped the medication and I have noticed my overall self feels lighter… less burdened. My face and skin is clearing up. My moods are leveling out. I feel as though I could sleep if I tried… this is a slow process. I’ve always been one to go to bed early since I have my children. Here I am at almost 2am awake, awaiting the 530am alarm.

I need to get back to eating properly. While on this certain medication I’ve gained 4-5 pounds and I fell victim to my old habits and cravings. Today was a positive change as I ate much better and ensured I hit my Fat goal.

Finding motivation and inspiration when you are in such a dark place, can seem next to impossible. I never stopped trying to claw my way out, in search for that light. I’m there… I’m half way out and thankful that I did not give up on myself. I feel so much stronger as a result. My failure will be embraces, so that I may learn from it and become more resistant to such stimuli and negative life occurrences.

I thank my friends, family and especially my husband for not giving up on me as well.

I will get myself back. That is a promise…. a guarantee.

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